


Relief and Release

by soleil01



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: F/F, porn with plot ?? ajsds, very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26596306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soleil01/pseuds/soleil01
Summary: ‘I love you, do you hear me? I will not lose you,’ Mildred whispers one more time, thumb resting upon Gwendolyn’s cheek. She closes her eyes, giving in to the gentleness of Mildred’s touch, perfume and warmth.‘Oh, Mildred…’ Her voice wavers, unable to hold back how much she wants this, how long she’s waited to hear Mildred say those words.ORI wish they'd shown us what happened after that very hungry kiss so I was OBLIGED to write my own version.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 37
Kudos: 376





	Relief and Release

**Author's Note:**

> Hi gays,
> 
> I hope you enjoy the gay shit I wrote. I’m @solthequeer on twitter so come say hi!

‘I love you, do you hear me? I will not lose you,’ Mildred whispers one more time, thumb resting upon Gwendolyn’s cheek. She closes her eyes, giving in to the gentleness of Mildred’s touch, perfume and warmth.

‘Oh, Mildred…’ Her voice wavers, unable to hold back how much she wants this, how long she’s waited to hear Mildred say those words. And now that it’s here, now that it’s hers… Gwendolyn knows it’s all fragile. She’d tried to reason that, given all she found out about this woman, this attraction was a dangerous thing. But no matter how many times Mildred rejected her, lied to her, hurt her, all her heart did was ache with more need. Gwendolyn lowers her eyes to the plump red lips in front of her, her hand going to caress her lover’s skin, ending the older woman’s attempts at restraint. To taste Mildred, even if everything went to shit right afterwards, even if the tumour thriving in her breast wouldn’t allow a lifetime for them, would be the most miraculous, religious of things, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you,’ Mildred echoes right back as if she couldn’t get enough of saying it.

Their lips press together swiftly. Oh, Gwendolyn’s heart sang, relief, release. 

By the carnal way Mildred was kissing her, she knew more than ever that Mildred’s feelings were true. She can feel the wetness of Mildred’s tears on her cheeks and as her hand goes up to grab her neck, Mildred’s arms wrapping possessively around her, she can’t help but let out a tear of her own. Disbelief still resides in Gwendolyn’s heart, so she kisses her lover a little harder, a little deeper, wishing to take Mildred into herself. Steal a piece of her and guard it forever.

They pause for breath and gaze into each other’s eyes. Mildred smiles so brightly Gwendolyn’s heart clenches painfully. She searched for a full, true love and a full, true love was what Mildred’s beaming grin offered her here and now. When they come together again, Mildred’s timid tongue touches Gwen’s lips, asking for entrance, which she is granted easily and hungrily. The sensitive area between Gwendolyn’s legs begins to warm, her fingers digging deeper into Mildred’s neck and waist. The want of decades of repression and back-alley romances bubbles in her and spills out into her mouth, into the voracious possession she takes over Mildred’s lips, almost devouring her.

And Mildred… oh God, how wonderful this feels to her. After all this time, all the pain of her past, the forced encounters with men, she finally gets the tenderness of this woman - this gorgeous blue-eyed angel that came into her life at a point so monumental. Now she’s here, after everything she found out, she’s here, entangling her tongue with Mildred’s, her lips, as soft as petals in the height of spring, drawing out desire from every inch of her body and soul. After all Mildred had put her through, Gwen still wants her.

For Mildred too, the want of decades of repression comes out here, and despite self-consciousness and fear, she lets out a moan against Gwendolyn’s mouth. This, to allow herself to vocalise the deepest desire of her life, is the best release she never knew she needed. She’d thought engaging in these desires would feel wrong and unnatural. How wrong had she been! How relieved did she feel now.

‘Oh,’ Mildred breathes out against Gwen’s mouth. The evidence of their passion spread all over her lover’s mouth in blotches of red lipstick. Mildred giggles a little, as sweet as the little girl she once was, ‘We made a mess.’

‘Yeah,’ Gwen says heavily, unaware of the darkness her eyes now possessed, her arousal at the very tip of her throat, ‘Yeah, we did.’

Gwen stops herself from thinking about the mess in her undergarments. It would be too soon for that. As much as she wanted to take Mildred now, she didn’t want to scare her off. She begs within herself, to the universe and whatever powers that be, to let her spend the rest of the day kissing this gorgeous woman. That would be enough.

‘You okay?’ Mildred’s eyebrows furrow, her hands, previously on Gwen’s waist, going to her back to support her, as if Gwendolyn would collapse at any moment. Gwen’s heart warms.

‘Yeah,’ she plants a small kiss on Mildred’s nose, earning a ridiculously endearing shy smile from the woman, ‘I’m great.’

Mildred kisses her again, no ounce of shyness in the gesture. She bites at Gwendolyn’s bottom lip, eliciting a sigh so sensual she swears all the hairs on her skin have raised. She leans in for more, but-

‘Wait,’ Gwen pushes her away, looking pained. 

‘What? Did I do something wrong, I’m-’

‘No,’ Gwen raises a finger to caress her lips, ‘No.’

‘Then what?’

‘I’m finding it hard to be close to you, like this…’

‘I don’t understand.’

Gwen moves back a little and the sudden cold air saddens Mildred’s spirit, ‘I can’t be so close to you when I want more…I-I…’ 

She trails off. Realisation hits Mildred.

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah,’ Gwendolyn is thankful she didn’t have to explain, to put the words out into the world. Less for her own comfort and more for Mildred’s - she had little desire to spring all of this upon her. Gwen still remembered the first time she kissed a girl, the first time a woman made love to her - all the wonderful and yet conflicting feelings. The shame afterwards was what she wanted to protect Mildred from. In this world, when things like this happen too fast, the shame instilled in them from a young age can be easily reinforced. No, Gwen thinks, she would be damned if she let Mildred be consumed in that way. It needed to be slow, organic, attentive.

But Mildred steps closer to her again, eyes as big as saucers. The smell of her perfume was intoxicating to her heightened senses.

‘What if I want more too?’ Mildred whispers, raising a hand to cup Gwen’s cheek. The latter’s eyes flutter closed, remembering the first time Mildred tried to touch her face but she’d moved away. How quickly had things changed.

‘You do?’ Gwendolyn’s voice is a mere hoarse whisper as she glances through heavy eyelids at the beauty in front of her.

‘Yes.’

‘Are... Are you sure?’

‘Yes,’ Mildred says, a little impatiently, and leaves no room for further discussion because she leans in for a kiss. Gwendolyn captures her lips in a blur of relief and excitement, hands going to cup Mildred’s delicate face, ‘I’ve never done this before.’

‘That’s okay,’ Gwen smiles so warmly that tears spring into Mildred’s eyes, ‘I’ll show you.’

‘Will…’ She can’t help but stammer a little bit, suddenly afraid, ‘Will I be safe?’

Gwen’s face shows a hint of a frown before she remembers the lover’s past, the last foster family of hers. Her heart shatters, despite having been destroyed the first time she’d learnt of her lover’s haunting past.

‘Yes,’ Gwen says with a little more conviction in her voice than she wanted. She touches Mildred’s arms gently, ‘Maybe we should take it slow. This is so new I don’t want to scare you off.’

‘No,’ Mildred shakes her head stubbornly, ‘I want you now. We’ve wasted so much time already.’

‘Mildred…’

‘Gwendolyn…’ She goes to nuzzle her lover’s neck, ‘Trust me?’

‘Okay,’ Gwen swallows hard. So much for restraint.

They stare at each other for a while, the weight of what they’re about to do upon them. Mildred feels giddy, warm and soft as pudding in Gwendolyn’s embrace. She knows how sex works, she’s had sex before, willing and unwillingly, but not with a woman. What did she expect? What would it be like?

When Gwen kisses her again, she feels her nipples harden. She takes great comfort in knowing that all of this feels right.

‘Let’s go upstairs,’ Gwen says after they part for breath, ‘To the bedroom.’

‘Yes,’ Mildred breathes in nervously, ‘To the bedroom.’

The walk upstairs is slow and full of meaning. She looks about the house Gwen lived, imagining them both residing here and at times, she’d catch the other woman staring. At other times, they’d stop and kiss, sometimes slowly, sometimes so passionately both women believed they’d come undone right there. But Gwen always stopped them right before any garments were discarded, heavy breathing, cheeks red.

The room is nice and cosy enough. Decorated like the rest of the house but with a little more hint of Gwen. It seems to her that this place lacks the vivacity her lover carries in her eyes. Mildred knows why - she’d done the same. Self-preservation.

Maybe that would change.

‘My sweet room,’ Gwendolyn attempts to joke to hide the enormous anxiety shaking at her hands. Both due to the overwhelming arousal and the fear of being so close to getting what she’s wanted for a long, long time. She hesitates before speaking, ‘Uh, would you like to-’

Mildred moves fast and kisses her. Gwendolyn lets out a trembling breath, fingers fumbling with her lover’s hair, uncertain despite experience. ‘I’m not going to break,’

Gwen’s chest just heaves as she looks at Mildred. She makes a choice. First, she removes Mildred’s hat, both laughing lightly as some hair snags on the material. Then, after setting it down somewhere, she leans in sensually, looking from Mildred’s eyes down to her lips and back, delighted at the desire blooming in her lover’s eyes.

‘Can I?’ Gwen asks, touching a button on Mildred’s blouse.

The darker-haired woman bites her lips lightly and nods.

Their eyes lock as Gwen begins to unbutton Mildred’s shirt. When the air hits her exposed skin, Mildred inhales sharply and her eyes close when she feels the warm lips of her lover caressing the skin of her neck. Her blouse hangs on her shoulders, her bra pressing against the material of Gwendolyn’s shirt, her fingers grab the older woman’s hips tightly.

‘Ah,’ She breathes as Gwen nibbles at a sensitive spot under her ear. How… wonderful and new this felt. How had she let men touch her with rough, angry hands instead of these honeyed lips and the delicacy one possess when they are handling the most precious of gems?

Gwendolyn inhales the full scent of Mildred, her Mildred, as she kisses from the very top of her neck to the edge of her shoulder. Her fingers skim the skin beneath her, feeling the smooth stomach and waist, all the way up to - oh, Gwen gaps, her bra. It’s a lacy black material and it covers her well. But still, Gwen’s fascinated by the sight of Mildred’s breasts, so much so that she forgets herself and just stares.

The younger woman squirms under her gaze, ‘What?’

‘You are so beautiful, Milly,’ Gwen breathes out, planting a kiss to the top of her breast, ‘So, so beautiful.’

Milly, she thinks, I like that. Her hands work at Gwen’s hair, taking off the bands and pins to release her full, ginger hair onto her back. It’s longer than she’d expected, softer, and, when Gwen gives open-mouthed, warm kisses to her chest, she finds that it’s sturdy and very good to pull on.

‘Fuck,’ Mildred forgets herself, though, really, what’s cursing in comparison to the sapphic fornication they’re about to delight in?

Gwen just smiles at her, clearly pleased, and guides her to the bed. They continue to kiss as they cross the small distance of Gwen’s bedroom. By the time they reach the foot of the bed, her blouse is being pushed to the ground by hungry feminine hands, falling with a swish to the ground. Mildred’s hands are busy heir own endeavours, working tirelessly on the older woman’s shirt.

They keep moving until Mildred feels the back of her knees hit the bed, then Gwen’s smiling, pushing her down and positioning herself above her. Her heart begins to thunder when she feels Mildred’s fingers tugging at the strap of her bra, pushing it down her shoulders. She sits up and unclasps the garment, sucking on her lip as her breasts are freed. When she bends back down and looks at Mildred’s face, she’s met with a lip tightly pulled in between lips and hands reaching up to touch her. Her chest heaves, moving the tips of her nipples right into Mildred’s eager hands. Her lover cups and palms her breasts eagerly, a thumb hesitating over her nipple.

‘Go on,’ Gwen breathes out, ‘Touch me.’

And she does. But not with her fingers.

‘Oh, fuck,’ Gwen moans as she feels Mildred wrap her lips around her nipple, warm tongue sucking on her breast. She has to put a hand down next to Mildred’s face, for balance, for the fear she will simply fall at the pleasure. Her left-hand cups her waist. Gwendolyn feels herself tremble, not at the touch itself, but in anticipation of what else’s to come. Isn’t she supposed to be introducing Mildred to this?

‘Mil-’ She starts but is overcome with a gasp as she feels teeth gently scrape at her nipple, her lover’s left hand playing with her left breast. Fuck, she bucks her hips, pushing into the pleasure. No, no, she can’t give in so easily, she has to take care of Mildred.

Mildred’s surprised when she feels Gwen press down on her chest, pushing her off her breast. For a second, she’s afraid she’s messed things up, done something wrong, she could’ve sworn that’s how they did it? Lesbians? 

Then… she sees her lover’s face and she knows that’s she’s gotten it all too right. She smiles.

‘Let me…’ Gwen seems to be struggling with her breath. Mildred smiles wider, ‘Let me take control.’

She just nods. Gwen sweeps her into a kiss and removes her bra swiftly like she’s done it a million times before. Of course, she has, Mildred thinks as she watches Gwendolyn’s eyes widen as she takes her in, she must know all the tricks…

She doesn’t have time to think of exactly what kind of tricks Gwendolyn knows because they begin to kiss roughly, losing themselves in one another. Mildred’s hair is loose and messy now, same for Gwen’s and both women, topless, touch each other into ecstasy. It’s when Gwen’s tugging softly at her skirt that Mildred snaps out of this trance, awake and aware - wanting to see everything. She wonders how Gwen will touch her, with her fingers or her mouth?

‘Can I?’ Gwen says from atop her, fingers hooking on Mildred’s undergarments.

‘Yes,’ She braces herself for the full weight of nakedness to hit her, for her wet folds to be exposed to the air, to Gwen’s love.

‘Oh, darling…’ Gwen murmurs as she takes in the full sight of the woman beneath her. Naked and ready to be taken, loved. She reaches to touch the creamy thighs, squeezing gently. She decides to move down, hearing Mildred’s breath hitch at the act and begins to kiss her thighs, still lying together. When her heart has slowed down a little, she pushes Mildred’s thighs gently apart, revealing the core of her - pink and soaking. She gaps through gritted teeth, an intense warm blooming between her legs.

Mildred is beautiful.

She licks her lips and dives in. First, Gwen lays a loving kiss on the top of her lover’s lips, resisting the overwhelming urge to lick in one fell swoop, the desperation to taste her. Mildred inhales sharply and Gwen can feel her legs tremble about her and she would cry, really really would, if she wasn’t so aroused, so hungry.

Gwendolyn Briggs always liked to think of herself as a patient lover but as she breathes in the scent of Mildred’s soaking cunt, she lets that fall apart.

Mildred can’t stop the pornographic moan that escapes out of her mouth when she feels the warm, wet tongue press up into her. She doesn’t know what to do, where to look, what to touch as the power of her lover’s tongue stimulates her. God, she’d never thought sex could ever feel this good, not for a woman. But - a mumbled Christ tumbles out of her mouth as Gwen presses harder - she was taken.

‘Gwen-’ She shudders, biting her lip so hard she can taste copper. Her lover grabs her hand and pulls it down to her hair. Mildred’s fingers wrap around the silky locks and her hips as if by muscle memory, begin to gently rock against the sturdy, warm tongue fucking her.

Oh, god… Gwen thinks, as she gazes up to Mildred, She’s in love, for sure. The moment her Milly started to grind on her face, her mouth open in a wordless gasp, her clit protruding and wet, she knew that this was what she was looking for, what she’d ever needed. How had she spent so long without tasting this woman? Without covering her lips in the full debauchery of her wetness?

‘Fuck,’ she hears Mildred whimper a little louder, almost pained, and she fastens her pace, her fingers twitching to move inside her lover. Gwen feels too weak to thing of logistics - of making this last longer, of what’s the most pleasurable thing I can do right now for us both? She is too far gone in the throes of passion, too far gone with want that she pushes inside of Mildred with two curled fingers, not pausing to let the woman breathe, and begins pump in and out rhythmically, entranced.

‘My God,’ Mildred calls out, eyes rolling backwards at the feel of the deep fullness inside of her and intense ache at the top of her thighs at her lover’s demanding tongue. She loses it, in a way she’d never done before, and begins to move sloppily, desperately chasing her climax. Gwendolyn’s hair becomes a lifeline to her as she holds on, her left hand searching for her lover’s fingers but not finding them as they are busy keeping her legs open. She moans loudly and openly as she begins to climb the curve of pleasure, Gwendolyn’s fingers and tongue all but going faster, harder, so deliciously impossibly talented.

‘That’s it,’ Gwen whispers in between hard strokes, ‘Don’t resist, darling.’

It’s then Mildred looks down, searching for her lover’s sapphire eyes. And when she finds them and is faced with the image of Gwendolyn, face covered in slick and cheeks red, between her legs, she’s pushed over the edge. Mildred cums with Gwendolyn’s name on her lips and tears spilling over.

‘Baby?’ Gwendolyn says worriedly as she makes her way up Mildred’s body, laying gentle kisses here and there. With her dry hand, she wipes away a tear, ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ Mildred’s dark eyes swim and shine with tears, ‘I am just so happy.’

Gwendolyn’s lip trembles, the taste of Mildred’s pleasure coating every inch of her mouth, ‘Me too.’

Gwen leans down to kiss Milly. The latter gasps at her own taste, but suckles greedily at her lover’s mouth. The former is about to say something about cleaning themselves up and just snuggling up together when Mildred takes off her belt, hand plunging into Gwendolyn’s underwear.

She gasps at the feel of her lover's fingers snaking down to her centre, coating themselves in her wetness. 

‘You’re so wet..’ Mildred whispers like it’s a revelation.

When her fingers slip in, there’s a wet sound and Gwendolyn would’ve felt embarrassed had she not been so consumed by need. The need for Mildred’s fingers seating themselves deeply inside of her.

‘Oh God,’ Gwen’s arms begin to shake and she falls to her elbows, mouth brushing against Mildred’s neck. She can’t believe she’s being fucked by Mildred Ratched, can’t believe she’s just devoured Mildred Ratched, can’t believe herself when she cums so quickly with a few deep, clumsy strokes of Mildred’s fingers.

She drops on top of her lover when her walls stop clenching, body shaking in the embrace Mildred tightly wraps around her.

‘My God,’ Gwendolyn mumbles into her neck, ‘My god…’

‘Do you usually climax this fast?’ Mildred’s teasing voice makes its way into her ear.

Gwendolyn shoots her a look, ‘It’s been a while.’

‘Right,’ Mildred giggles, ‘I want more.’

‘Jesus,’ Gwen whispers into her neck, tired, ‘I may need a little break. I’m old.’

‘I meant,’ Mildred pushes her onto her back and gets on top, much to Gwendolyn’s surprise, ‘I want more of you.’

Gwen shudders with desire and closes her eyes tightly. Mildred kisses her deeply and slowly, sweeping every corner of her and touching her breasts gingerly.

‘Mildred…’ Gwen whines.

‘Yes?’ She says after a particularly wet kiss on her lover’s collarbone.

‘Will you-’ She inhales, ‘Will you use your mouth on me, please?’

Mildred’s eyes shine, ‘Of course.’

God, god, god, Gwendolyn thinks, so keen, so excited. Her heart begins to hammer at the thought of Mildred’s pretty little mouth on her clit, her tongue-

‘Ah!’ Gwendolyn cries out in pain. Mildred giggles.

‘That’s gonna leave a mark,’ She says as she kisses the red mark on her lover’s breast, right beside her nipple.

Fuck, Gwendolyn was speechless. She was used to being in charge, to taking and taking but not wanting to be taken so much in her life, never wanting to be so utterly consumed by another as she wants now. No, wait, that is not true, deep down she’d always wanted to be consumed wholly by burning love. But she’d always been afraid, always held back, never quite feeling safe to let go. But with Mildred? God, for Mildred she’ll beg for anything.

‘Hm…’ Mildred hums thoughtfully as she leans back and proceeds to take off her love’s high-waisted pants. It’s a bit of a struggle and in more than one occasion she gives in and kisses Gwendolyn hard, again and again, unable to keep away for long. But when they finally manage to shrug off Gwen’s underwear and the ginger tuft of hair between her legs folding under Mildred’s curious finger, she knows it was more than worth it.

‘Will you teach me how to?’

‘Yes,’ Gwendolyn remembers the restaurant, the oyster. She shudders, ‘Just…’ she spreads her legs, ‘let it slide into your mouth.’

Mildred leans down and does so, a curious tongue sweeping up. When she tastes her lover, she moans.

‘Now,’ Gwendolyn’s breath hitches as Mildred’s moans vibrate through her core, ‘Do you see the little flesh at the top?’

Mildred spreads her lips with two forefingers and nods.

‘Lick it.’

She looks up at Gwen, eyes enormous, and with unwavering eye contact, wraps her lips around the nub of skin.

‘Fuck! Oh my god,’ Gwen swears so violently Mildred pulls back.

‘Did I do it wrong?’

‘No, no, no. It was perfect, I’m just so…’ She puffs out a hot breath, ‘Sensitive.’

‘I see,’ Mildred smiles, ‘I’ll be gentle then.’

She’s not. She begins to stroke up and down slowly at first, sure, but quickly she quickens her pace and is messily sucking on her lover’s clit. Gwendolyn’s gasping and moaning, chest heaving and hips bucking off the bed much like hers had before. Mildred’s surprised at the amount of pleasure she’s getting from this. She unashamedly circles her own clit with her free hand, her moans making Gwendolyn all too aware of the destination of her fingers.

‘Come here,’ Gwendolyn growls.

‘What?’

‘Come. Here,’ Gwen’s hands grasp at her shoulders roughly.

Mildred complies, wiping her mouth with her right hand. Gwendolyn pulls her into a rough, demanding kiss and plunges her fingers between Mildred’s legs, working her fast. Mildred groans and reciprocates, curling her fingers and plunging them deeper into Gwen’s core. 

The room fills with the sound of loud breathing and the wet of their cores. It’s obscene and oddly romantic, Mildred thinks, and despite the roughness, they’re giving into, it is nothing like that time with the hitman, It still feels loving and equal.

‘God,’ Gwendolyn cries out, arching her back and stilling all movement as another orgasm shakes over her. Mildred just watches the twitch of her face, feels the fingers dig into her arms, and revels in the feel of her lover’s slick walls shuddering around her.

She’s never felt so powerful. Mildred reaches her own climax seconds after, Gwen’s fingers working her hard once again when her senses come back to her.

They pant.

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ Gwen echoes back, slicking down Mildred’s wet strands of her to her forehead. 

Mildred curls into her, grabbing the blankets as she does so. She places a gentle kiss to the throbbing pulse on her lover’s neck.

‘I wish we could just lie here forever.’

Gwendolyn’s sapphire eyes seem radiant in the light, ‘We can.’


End file.
